What Matters

What matters

CTALK By Cito Beltran

The Philippine Star 02/09/2007

Having opted to live a less stressful lifestyle away from the limelight or the  Rat Race, it’s but normal for people who made the choice, to sometimes wonder if they did the right thing.

They experience pangs of guilt about being under employed, less productive and  certainly  reduced  in  their income potential. While everyone else is BUSY making a LIVING, you ask yourself if it’s a mature thing to be at home or semi-retired at the farm.

Are  you  wasting all your God-given talents raising kids, growing your own food, or simply living on very little money and simple needs? Shouldn’t you be  involved  in today’s politics, today’s technology? And are your friends right about saying “Sayang Ka”?

Last month, a friend called me about an opening in a major corporation that was  paying P300,000 a month, all the perks, and even a brand new Volvo. My friend  asked me how I would react if the job was offered to me since I was very qualified.

It took me all of 5 seconds to tell her I wouldn’t accept it.

To begin with P100,000 would certainly end up with the government as taxes.

That would leave me with only P200,000.

To  earn  that,  I  would  have to be at work by eight everyday, instead of coming  up  with imaginative tricks to wake up my daughter like placing her puppy  in  her bed, or simply standing over her watching this angelic child in her field of dreams.

I  would  have to eat breakfast by six, leave the house by 6:30. That means no  more  breakfast  conversations with my wife and certainly an end to our morning prayers not just for us but for family and friends.

From the P200,000, I would have to spend at least P20,000 a month or 10% of net to pay for gasoline driving the brand new Volvo to office everyday.

in effect, I would only be earning P180,000 or even less. Not to mention that my friends who sell Mercedes Benzes, Jaguars, etc. would brand me as a traitor.

From  the  net  salary of +/- P180,000, I would have to give up the lunch I have with my wife 3 to 4 times a week at home.

Instead my power of choice adds another burden where I would have to decide daily  where  in  the  business district I ought to have lunch, merienda if needed,  and  from  time to time even dinner. I would have to choose from a menu instead of whipping up something in my kitchen.

When  you  add  up  the  bill, plus service charge, plus VAT you can easily average  another  P20,000 in expenses. Which means, that what we originally thought would be a net income of P200,000 has now gone down to P160,000.

In  the absence of maintenance you can enter about P10,000 as your average monthly  repair  bill  for labor and materials. So now, you discover you’re only earning P150,000 a month.

Instead  of being in a HOME I own, I will have to try to be “at home” in an office  where  I  will  be  spending  more of my “awake time”. This finally solves  the  puzzle;  why do we always fill our offices with personal stuff which  we  will  have  to  take home in a box when we retire, resign or get fired?

From  having  my  independence and personal views, I would then have a real live  flesh  and bones Boss (because of what I thought was P200,000 a month salary)  can  tell  me  how to jump! Someone who’s seniority or proprietary rights automatically makes him right even if he’s stupid.

Because  you  now  have to spend most of the time at the office or behind a desk,  you can’t do your regular walk in the park or jog around the village which  is also your bonding time with your spouse, your kids, or your dogs out. either join a gym or get a personal trainer.

When  you  total fees, travel, and outfits, your monthly fitness bill would be  around  P5,000  which  means  your net pay just went down to P145,000 a month or less than half the original offered salary.

My  dear wife reminds me to include clothing and image-related expenditures specially  for women. The clothes, the make-up, the jewelry, as well as the business  accessories  such  as  the laptop loaded with Vistas program, the latest cell phones, iPod etc.

Even  if  you paid all of that on installment for 24 months, it would be in the area of P20,000 a month which further reduces your income to P125,000 a month.

The  problem  with this major part of the expense is many people mistakenly call  them  necessary investments, professional expense, but don’t see them as deductions from PERSONAL wealth.

It  would  also mean, not sharing the responsibility of taking our child to school,  missing  out  on small talk that tell you big things in children’s minds, and dropping out on all the parent-child activities.

I  would also nullify all the adjustments we made in the last 5 years where we  integrated  home  life  with  work in order to be more of a family than employees with a family.

Speaking  of home life, anyone who spends a lot of time at work can testify that  in  your  absence  you  will  have  to hire a full crew to do all the maintenance  and  repair  you  use to prevent or do yourself when you spend time at home.

In  your absence, who’s going to fix leaking roofs, flooded toilets, busted aircons,  creaking  doors, or all the usual things REAL MEN with real tools do?

If  I  actually went out to get the job that pays P300,000 plus a brand new Volvo,  it would have cost me breakfasts with my wife, trips to school with my  daughter, morning talks and prayers with God, affirmation of my role as husband,  father.  I would be relinquishing responsibility for my house, as well as my home.

What  we’ve  done  is  determine  what really matters, what and how much we really  need,  give  up what we don’t need or care for and trust in God and not in men.

This is what I call real life cost-benefit analysis. To make an accounting of what we think we’re getting against what we know we’re losing. Sometimes earning more actually costs more.

today

today, and well, yesterday, as well as last week, i've been feeling so under the weather that i even cried because i was so depressed. Rache and Pongs told me it was just PMS, but it's not my schedule yet. so yeah, i believe i'm just thinking of so many things and i let it bother me so much that's why it's making me feel down and depressed. oh well, i guess this is THAT time of the year. or maybe, this is THAT time of the MONTH. haha.

also, i've been feeling so moody and so lazy and sleepy that i couldn't function very well with what i'm doing. argh. i feel dizzy, and i'm yawning so bad. i don't even think that coffee won't wake me up.

i'm trying to make myself in the mood so i could do my work. i'll have to call our contacts. argh. this is boring.

what constitutes a good life?

WHAT CONSTITUTES A GOOD LIFE?
by Jim Rohn

The ultimate expression of life is not a paycheck. The ultimate expression of life is not a Mercedes. The ultimate expression of life is not a million dollars or a bank account or a home. Here's the ultimate expression of life in my opinion, and that is living a good life. Here's what we must ask constantly, "What for me would be a good life?" And you have to keep going over and over the list. A list including areas such as spirituality, economics, health, relationships and recreation. What would constitute a good life? I've got a short list.

1) Productivity. You won't be happy if you don't produce. The game of life is not rest. We must rest, but only long enough to gather strength to get back to productivity. What's the reason for the seasons and the seeds, the soil and the sunshine, the rain and the miracle of life? It's to see what you can do with it. To try your hand, other people have tried their hand; here's what they did. You try your hand to see what you can do. So part of life is productivity.

2) Good friends. Friendship is probably the greatest support system in the world. Don't deny yourself the time to develop this support system. Nothing can match it. It's extraordinary in its benefit. Friends are those wonderful people who know all about you and still like you. A few years ago I lost one of my dearest friends. He died at age 53 - heart attack. David is gone, but he was one of my very special friends. I used to say of David that if I was stuck in a foreign jail somewhere accused unduly and if they would allow me one phone call, I would call David. Why? He would come and get me. That's a friend. Somebody who would come and get you. Now we've all got casual friends. And if you called them they would say, "Hey, if you get back, call me we'll have a party." So you've got to have both, real friends and casual friends.

3) Your culture. Your language, your music, the ceremonies, the traditions, the dress. All of that is so vitally important that you must keep it alive. In fact it is the uniqueness of all of us that when blended together brings vitality, energy, power, influence, uniqueness and rightness to the world.

4) Spirituality. It helps to form the foundation of the family that builds the nation. And make sure you study, practice and teach. Don't be careless about the spiritual part of your nature; it's what makes us who we are, different from animal, dogs, cats, birds and mice. Spirituality.

5) Don't miss anything. My parents taught me not to miss anything. Don't miss the game. Don't miss the performance, don't miss the movie, don't miss the show, don't miss the dance. Go to everything you possible can. Buy a ticket to everything you possibly can. Go see everything and experience all you possible can. This has served me so well to this day. Just before my father died at age 93 if you were to call him at 10:30 or 11:00 at night, he wouldn't be home. He was at the rodeo, he was watching the kids play softball, he was listening to the concert, he was at church, he was somewhere every night.

Live a vital life. Here's one of the reasons why. If you live well, you will earn well. If you live well it will show in your face, it will show in the texture of your voice. There will be something unique and magical about you if you live well. It will infuse not only your personal life but also your business life. And it will give you a vitality nothing else can give.

6) Your family and the inner circle. Invest in them and they'll invest in you. Inspire them and they'll inspire you. With your inner circle take care of the details. When my father was still alive, I used to call him when I traveled. He'd have breakfast most every morning with the farmers. Little place called The Decoy Inn out in the country where we lived in Southwest Idaho.

So Papa would go there and have breakfast and I'd call him just to give him a special day. Now if I was in Israel I'd have to get up in the middle of the night, but it only took five minutes, ten minutes. So I'd call Papa and they'd bring him the phone. I'd say, "Papa I'm in Israel." He'd say, "Israel! Son, how are things in Israel?" He'd talk real loud so everybody could hear - my son's calling me from Israel. I'd say, "Papa last night they gave me a reception on the rooftop underneath the stars overlooking the Mediterranean." He'd say, "Son, a reception on the rooftop underneath the stars overlooking the Mediterranean." Now everybody knows the story. It only took 5 - 10 minutes, but what a special day for my father, age 93.

If a father walks out of the house and he can still feel his daughter's kiss on his face all day, he's a powerful man. If a husband walks out of the house and he can still feel the imprint of his wife's arms around his body he's invincible all day. It's the special stuff with the inner circle that makes you strong and powerful and influential. So don't miss that opportunity. Here's the greatest value. The prophet said, "There are many virtues and values, but here's the greatest, one person caring for another." There is no greater value than love. Better to live in a tent on the beach with someone you love than to live in a mansion by yourself. One person caring for another, that's one of life's greatest expressions.

So make sure in your busy day to remember the true purpose and the reasons you do what you do. May you truly live the kind of life that will bring the fruit and rewards that you desire.

i've been feeling very depressed this week for an unknown reason. especially today. i've been too much bothered with work, family, personal life, add to that the lack of sleep. and i have read this email in my inbox. what does it really take to have a contented life? and after reading this, i asked myself, what have i been living for all this time? am i really enjoying my life?

at this stage of my depression, which my officemates say is just PMS, i'm really  out of tune to think about it. i would just love to cry my heart out and not think of anything.

pass me the ice cream.

i wish…

at this time of my life, i am more than motivated to look for a place to rent than ever before. this is maybe because the cup has been filled. hindi ko na kaya ang minsan more than two hours travel from taytay to makati. i've been late everyday for the past 7 months in the office! would you believe! and i have been missing friends' birthdays, gimmicks, dinner outs, etc. and i've been missing a lot of news and gossips about them and of other people. i miss all the jokes, the fun, especially the company. oh… how i wish i could have a place to rent close to everything, so i wouldn't be able to doubt of going wherever and whenever they ask me to. how i wish i have a place to rent where there's no reason for me to wake up in the wee hours of the morning just to get to the office in time. how i wish i have a place where everything is accessible. well, almost. sigh… i wish i could find a place where could be far away from a very bitchy cousin of mine. grr…

but now, my officemate and i made the first step in looking for a place. and that is, to talk about it. haha! we haven't gone far yet of looking for an actual place because we're both busy. especially now that it's the GID season. but after this, we'll be pouring our hearts out in looking for that perfect place for us. not really something expensive, but a place where it is secured, clean, nice, and affordable. just enough fro our humble salary.

my heart is looking forward to finding that place. i wish i could find that place soon. *crosses fingers*

SE z610i

i have a new love. the Sony Ericsson z610i! my officemate just bought hers, and when she handed it to me, wow… i fell in love at first sight! it has this sleek image, that gives your image a twist when somebody looks at it. haha! i'd love to have the airy blue color because, well, if it's not that obvious, i love the color blue. but if there was a color yellow, i'd grab it once! haha!

but still, i haven't thought of what to really buy. will it be N3250, or the SE z610i? i'm really torn between these two loves. but i believe, my heart really beats for the SE z610i. i've always wanted a flip phone, and SE z610i has good package for that matter! but i prefer n3250's 2 megapixels for a resolution, because the SE z610i has a 2 megapixel resolution, n3250 has a nicer resolution. oh gosh, i'm really torn in between. haha!

i guess i'll give myself some time to think it over. who knows, i might think it over.

and oh, i also need an apartment or something to rent, somewhere here in makati, or somewhere near. sheesh. i don't know what to do first! argh.

opinion

why do people make small things a big mess? kahit hindi naman dapat? bakit hindi na lang palampasin? bakit hindi na lang lawakan ang utak para mas maintindihan ang mga bagay bagay para hindi mag-away?

yan ang problema sa mundo ngayon. they sweat the small stuff even if they don't have to. anong problema sa pagsusulat tungkol sa isang bagay that interests you, whether in a good or bad way, sa isang public forum? that's why it was called a forum and that's why it's called an opinion. every person is entitled to it whether they're right or wrong about whatever they say. just as long as it's factual, with basis, and it doesn't give harm to any of the readers, why not.

just like other people, i am so in love(for the lack of better term) with my school. and i know so are other people. hindi lang ako. kalat sa forums ang school bashing para lang maipagtanggol ang pinakamamahal na unibersidad, at mapatunayang hindi lang ito pipitsugin, tulad ng sinasabi ng mga taga ibang eskwelahan.

ako, nagsusulat ako sa kapita-pitagang official forum ng eskwelahang aking pinanggalingan. at hindi ko pinagkakaila na sumasali ako sa bashing na tinatawag nila. ngunit alam kong nasa lugar ako, at hindi ako lumalampas sa linyang in between being safe and being bad. lahat naman ng universities merong good and bad sides, merong positives and negatives, merong strengths and weaknesses. nasa tao na yun whatever people will have to say about it, whether good or bad. kelangan lang natin tanggapin ang katotohanan, kahit gaano pa man natin kamahal ang ating unibersidad.

ngayon, kung ako'y hindi naiintindihan dahil sa aking pagsusulat ng aking mga opinyon tungkol sa ibang bagay that interests me, in a good way or bad, i would just like to say that i am entitled to my opinion. para sabihin ko, ako ay in between lamang. hindi ako nagsasabi at nagmumura ng kung anumang unibersidad na walang ibang ginawa kundi magsabi ng masama tungkol sa aming pinakamamahal na eskwelahan, kahit ako'y nasasaktan na.

katulad ng sinabi MO, i didn't come from your school to know what's really going on inside it. and this is what i have to tell YOU. you didn't come from my school either to know what really goes on inside. so wag mong sabihin saken that what you're telling me are FACTS. i respect your OPINION. so better respect MINE.

at ang babaw. why does our different schools have to come between us? what does it have to do with this already fucked-up relationship? open you eyes to the bigger things, mister. and learn that OPINIONS are entitled to EVERYBODY. even YOU.

one on one

at this time, i'm waiting for my former boss to come call me and do my PMAT - my annual appraisal. FORMER because he's actually not with the company anymore but he's here to complete his clearance which he should have done last DECEMBER. you see what a complete useless being he is? uber.

anyway, here is the newly launched iPhone from apple:

astig di ba? a revolutionary mobile phone, a widescreen iPod with touch controls, and a breakthrough Internet communications device with desktop class email, web browsing, maps and searching - into a slim and lightweight handleld device. (taken from: http://www.apple.com/iphone/)

4gb costs $399 while 6gb cost $599. whoa! that is pricey! but then, at these times, i believe money can buy all these things that gives happiness. although temporary.

this newly entered device from Apple makes me think once more of my dad. will i still wait until 2008 to have a hold of this cool phone?

hmm. again. dad, calling.

walang kwentang phone!

just last week, my phone's memory card got corrupted(whatever that means). then, i couldn't go to my memory card's gallery, where all my music and pictures with my friends, and boyfriend's, were. i was so frustrated that i had to tell every people i talk to that it got corrupted.

then, just this saturday, january 6, 2007, nagreformat siya. siyempre, ang ibig sabihin nun, nabura lahat ng files ko. lahat ng music, true tones, pictures, games, applications, themes, in short, LAHAT! as in i wanted to cry so badly kasi sobrang mahal na mahal ko yung mga nakalagay dun, tapos bigla na lang siya mawawala ng ganun ganun na lang. as in wala na tuloy siyang kalaman laman ngayon. sabi ko pa nga kay jr, "baby, picture naman tayo" para lang magkalaman yung telepono ko. huhu. tapos pag memory card ang gamit ko, ayaw magsend ng messages. waaaaaahhhhh! huhuhu!

pero sana, madagdagan na ni dad yung pera na binigay niya saken na pambili ng phone. para makabili na ko ng bago. kasi in love na in love talaga ko sa N3250.

there it is! orrin has this phone, and when i checked it out, gosh, gusto ko na siya! mahal ko na siya! haha! it's not really something. typical phone with lots of music, with 512mb memory card expandable up to 2gig. astig! it's not like the other high end phones, but it's what my heart is longing for. hehe.

i do hope i get it soon.

dad, calling.

weekend

i went to a college(friends) reunion last friday night. i was with aimee, anne, shela, joanna, orrin, paolo, and shine(shela's cousin). i missed them so bad that i forgot all about being sick  that time. haha! we went to mr. kabab at west avenue, talked a lot, and laughed a lot more!

anne is staying here in the philippines for a month, that's why we decided that we should make it sulit for her. sabi niya dapat todo gimik raw kami. eh kamusta naman, i'm a busy girl. with so many responsibilities. haha. pero sabi nga ni spiderman, with great power, comes greater responsibilities. something like that. hehe!

actually ang usapan, 8pm. ako naman tong si loko, at that time, kakasakay ko pa lang ng mrt. akala ko nga late na ko nun. i was just about to follow. tapos malalaman laman ko na lang pagdating ko kina aimee na wala pa palang tao dun. sus. i was early pa pala. mga 930 na nga yata nung nakapunta na kami sa meeting place namin. tapos nun, 1130 na kami nakapagdinner. astig. as in irregardless kung ano ang tunay na napagkasunduan. haha.

but then again, still, ok lang. kasi nakasama ko naman sila. tapos kumpleto pa ang spice girls. minsan lang naman kami maging buo. kaya happy na rin.

promises..

what is it with people who can't keep their promises? who can't mark their words? who can't do what they told you they'd do?don't they realize that those people to whom they give their promises count on them? don't they think that those people to whow they promised to will badly get hurt when they go reaking their promises?

why do people have to commit theirselves with promises they can't keep? ano to, papogi points lang? bakit hindi na lang nila panindigan mga binitawan nilang salita. bakit kelangang sila ang unang mag-break ng promise na sila mismo ang gumawa in the first place? gosh, inaalagaan ko lahat ng mga promises na yun, tapos siya, ganun ganun na lang niya i-break yung mga promises na yun? how selfish. eh di sana pala, di na lang niya ginawa yung promise na yun para hindi ako ang nasasaktan. tarantado pala siya eh. sasabihin niyang mahal niya ko tapos ganyan ang gagawin niya? uunahin ang ibang bagay kesa sa mag-spend ng oras with you kasi matagal na naman kayong hindi magkakasama? lalake nga naman. walang kwenta talaga.

how i wish men would realize their mistakes and not just take for granted us women who they claim they love with all their life. how i wish men knew what commitment really means. it's not just a word you keep bragging on about to your good time friends. those promises include our feelings, you selfish beings. so umayos kayo. leche.